Friday, October 4, 2013

Cleaning Is Totally Overrated... Apparently.

During a recent heated "discussion" with the man of the house he sorta made a good point.

In the middle of my rant (e hem... or shall I say 'RAMPAGE') about how I can't catch a break between the kids, the cooking and the cleaning to do shit for myself without having to stop and tend to someone else, he shut me up with...

I had a bit of a brain fart coming up with my comeback but I'm sure it went somewhere along the lines of...

YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME!!! ::voice cracking while I fight back tears:: (He's right. He's SO right.)

So I wanted to take a moment and meditate on this a little bit...

I'm one of those people who absolutely CANNOT function when there's clutter within sight. I have to know EVERYTHING is in it's place and as it "should" be before I can move on with the next project or be able to focus on doing anything else. Yet, the house can NEVER be clean enough no matter how much time I spend cleaning, or thinking and stressing about it. There's always something to fix, a surface to wipe, a pillow to fluff, a piece to be bought and once it's all done there's still that permanent crack on the wall and other bits and pieces of evidence of the last 100 years of wear and tear in this house. Not to mention what's lurking under my bed and the junk drawer.

And then I think...

1. I don't have ANYONE visiting me during the day. (Except for the in laws who live upstairs and I'm hoping they don't judge the mess when they see it.)

B. HGTV isn't going to be knocking at my door to photograph my living room any time soon. 

Third. If I make the bed at 9am... with my pillow diving toddler I'm also making the bed at 10am, 12pm, 2:30pm before I run off to pick up the kids and again at 5pm before the man comes home.

And final: If the man & kids can manage to go off and be productive all day without giving a shit what they left lying on the floor here... Why can't I? Especially when there's something else I would rather much be doing (like oh... I dunno... blogging or enjoying the fact that I get to be home with my kid) than picking up after people who are VERY much capable of picking up after themselves. (Directed mostly at the kids... hubbs is very hands on with keeping things tidy aside from his habit of piling his laundry ON TOP of the basket instead of INSIDE the basket.)

I remember an argument back in my first marriage where the ex got a big head about the fact that he managed ONE day alone with the kids and still managed to have the house clean when I got home. He don' lost his mind when he went ahead and decided to claim it was "easy" and that he could do it everyday with his "hands tied behind his back." (Hence, why he is now the EX husband.) He said he let the kids turn the house upside down until the hour before I came home when he did a marathon cleaning.

I seriously wouldn't have known the difference had he not told me. Once I walked in the door, I didn't care how it was done... I was just glad it got done. And I'm sure David feels the same way. When you think about it... You really only need that ONE day a week of a deep cleaning for this little strategy to work. 

After a little interrogating of my then 3.5 year old, I also learned that daddy played Madden and Grand Theft Auto the entire day and fed tossed chips, hot dogs and soda at the kids for lunch and one of them may or may not have consumed my newest bottle of lotion. (Which explained why the bottles of breastmilk went untouched.) Hot dogs, soda and missing lotion aside. He got to play all day AND got shit done? Mutha f%$#*?! While the driving force was totally SELFISH... the dude may have been on to something.

I know for me, this obsession with trying to make everything "perfect" had a lot to do with justifying my existence. I felt (sometimes still feel) I'm home all day... I don't bring in a paycheck... this is the least I can do. Keeping myself so butt fucking busy doing the same shit over and over again everyday to keep up some sort of standard and shake off the stigma of being the lazy, pampered housewife that it makes me literally SICK. How about I stop giving a shit what anybody thinks I should or shouldn't be doing all day and I claim some time back for ME? It'll be a gift to myself. Happy fuckin' 30th Birthday year, Jess! Enjoy!

I'm a strong believer that kids need a structured and organized environment in order to focus and thrive. (Some of the time at least.) I'm ALWAYS going to care what dad comes home to cause I don't know of any man that's happy coming home to mess & chaos... Not mine at least. Except now I know he doesn't care much to know I spent hours trying to achieve perfection for him if it means he's coming home to a very unhappy, tired and worn out woman. In other words... a BITCH. (I'm PMS-ing too so yeah... it ain't pretty ya'll.)

I'm gonna try this whole "accepting the mess" technique for a bit and making the kids pick up after themselves after school more often. I seriously came to realize I'm cheating them out by not letting them learn to do some of these tasks for themselves. I'll do my best to refrain from ironing the wrinkles out of their beds for special occasions. 

I'm doing something I genuinely enjoy with my blogging. Where normally the notice of one of my picture frames having been budged over a centimeter would drive me absolutely INSANE... when I'm plugged into some sort of creative outlet I'm able to block out the world. Quite frankly, I need that sometimes. Like right now... I'm ignoring the mess on the floor and both mommy and nugget are at peace with the world. However, the smell that just burned it's way through my nostril hairs cannot be ignored so... GOTTA GO!


  1. I've learned kids are tornados and sometimes you just gotta say eff it and let the mess be. It is so exhausting trying to keep the messes at bay, I feel you on that one!


    1. Exactly Mandy! I've been doing just that the last few days and my world has been a much happier place for everybody lol