Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Birthday Photo Do-Over

When the littlest one turned a year old, one thing I was super excited about were getting her first birthday portraits done. What I learned from my older kids was that time really does fly and they'll never be as little again as they are today. This would be my last chance at getting these memorable first birthday photos done and I was ecstatic. 

I ordered her the sweetest little grey lace romper and accessorized it with pearls and a beautiful nagorie tiffany blue feather. Snazzy little thing. This was going to be perfect!

And they were.

The photographer was super nice, energetic and patient. He managed to catch all her little features and bent over backwards to get the slightest expression out of my strong-willed child. But something about the experience and the little ones demeanor seemed so... unnatural. So... not... her. She seemed confused by both the atmosphere and the extremely almost TOO happy stranger with the unusual interest in getting her to smile. I understood. Excessively happy people scare the shit outta me too.

We picked out a few of our favorite poses, thanked the overwhelmingly, energetic photographer and went on our way. And while dad wiped the sweat off his forehead after spending a small fortune on these photos... I decided I wanted a re-shoot. 

It wasn't until a few months after her 2nd birthday that I found the perfect Tiffany blue petti skirt that I just HAD to have for this imaginary up and coming photo shoot. I say imaginary because while I had the whole thing planned in my head... I didn't have the equipment to do my vision any justice. 

Like that guy from that movie said... "Build it... and they will come." Or SOMETHING like that... I prepared for it... and it came. My birthday that is. (Well... a couple days before my birthday.) And after months and months of dropping subtle hints (orrrr not so subtle hints)...[I just want a good camera... *sigh* I wish I had the right camera... Sure, you can get the 60 inch TV... long as I get my camera first!]

 I got my camera. Let's do this birthday do-over thingy...

I spent my birthday kneeling in moist dirt... Sweat dripping in my eyes... Bugs caught in my hair... Walking through a stream in my long jeans and squatting as low as I could behind trees in very uncomfortable positions for long stretches of time in order to get thee shot. I caught what looked like a look of confusion/disgust from the babe for the very first time in our relationship, I was THAT determined. 

After coming home and uploading the photos... The results were SO worth the boob sweat and running mascara.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Perfect Birthday Gift

As much as I loved blogging, I had to give it a rest. Quite frankly, it was mentally exhausting. At any given moment I have a million thoughts, feelings, opinions and concerns running through my head and the task of fishing out just ONE topic and sticking to it long enough to be able to express it the way I'd like is just ddaunting. Most of the time, I'm struggling to shut my brain up long enough to be able to function through the day without tossing my keys into the freezer, or forgetting to take my sleeping toddler out of her car seat. (For the record, this hasn't happened to me yet. No, seriously...I swear.)

Blogging takes hours of undivided attention and time. There's the whole writing, editing, and writing and editing some more. Then of course finding the perfect jif and pics to drive home your message. My blog sits ignored partly out of a lack of discipline & possibly time management. Mostly, I just can't get my brain to cooperate with my demand for focus. I compare it to dealing with a stubborn toddler... no matter how much you beg, bribe & threaten to burn their toys they just refuse to cooperate. That's when you give up and let them wear your party heels out of the house. (This HAS happened.) In my case, I just give up and make it a Netflix night in hopes of finding something good enough to keep my mind quiet for a couple hours.

The b!*%$ just doesn't. Stop. Talking.

All the while, I really do miss my blog. I miss feeling connected to the world somehow. I want to be able to express what's going on in my day except I don't always want to use my words. Alot of what I see and feel inspired to share comes to me when I'm still and very quiet. And somehow the thought of trying to put words to what I'm seeing would only take away from it. I just wish I had a way to capture it the way I see it and not some distorted, pixalized, blurry version of it.

So for my 31st birthday, my better half surprised me with my very first "big girl" camera. The Canon Rebel T3 to be exact. Now, I've always had a love/hate relationship with every piece of electronic gadget I've owned so the hubs figured this camera would be the perfect place for me to start. It's not too overwhelming to look at, it's easy to use, and it's just what I needed to capture the images way I see them like nothing I've ever owned before.

For someone who spends 90% of their day living in their own head- this gift was much more than what was handed to me. I was given another outlet in which to channel some of my pent up creative energy.

Sketching has always sorta been my "thing". Very time consuming yet therapeutic. It's something that's also been put on the back burner far too many times when it shouldn't have. Mostly out of frustration of not having the ability to translate what I want onto that piece of paper. The times that I have been able to are pure bliss.

Photographs are different. Pictures are the closest we'll ever get to having the ability to freeze time. It's instant. (Well, depending on your shutter speed.) You just have to be able to "catch it" whatever "it" is. I can't express how many times I've wanted to throw my phone or camera through the window (emphasis on "THROUGH" the glass and not out an open window) because my gadget refused to pick up the IT I was seeing on the tomato I'm trying to photograph! Turning what was once an inspired moment into a big, fat, FURIOUS, spiraling roller coaster ride into the pits of HELL!

*inhale in... hold it... and exhale out*

But that's all in the past now. [Thanks, babe.] I'm looking forward to capturing and sharing these quiet (and not so quiet) moments with all of you. After all, "A picture is worth a thousand words."

One of my first practice shots! =>