Thursday, August 29, 2013

Confessions of a Poofy Sweet-Toothed Coffee Lover...

Throughout the day, the hubby likes to send me some of the interesting articles he comes across between work assignments. Today I get an email from him... Subject line: "Damn!"

This is gonna be good.

He sent me a Yahoo Shine article titled, "10 Foods and Drinks That Make You Look Older Than You Are". The first three being:
1. Salt
2. Sugar
3. Coffee... I couldn't go on..

Well, damn. Guess I'm screwed! 

I'm a well known salt-aholic with a mean sweet-tooth and a new found fascination with the wonders of coffee. The only reason I'm able to write this is because I had my coffee. It's the boost my body needs to stand a fighting chance in keeping up with my brain. This magic elixir is the reason I'll find the energy tomorrow morning to put on a bra and get shit done. It's the reason I won't curse you out in the morning in response to your perky, and obviously fake "Good Morning Sunshine!" cause who could POSSIBLY be that happy in the morning?! I mean, unless they've had their coffee. In which case... don't talk to me. Anyway. I've found that my one medium coffee in the morning and drinking lots and lots of water throughout the day did wonders for me. (Which the article mentions is a good way to go.) Not only do I have the energy to get things done efficiently; not feeling crummy & sluggish makes it so much easier for me to choose water over anything else. The coffee STAYS!

 Salt is my other enemy. Or shall I say best friend?  Ok, more like frienemy. If I could dress up my salt shaker, legally name it after my grandma and take it everywhere with me... I would. I'm about 99.9% sure that about half of my body weight is due to retaining water. (Yeah hu! I swear!) Yet... I cannot stop. I've switched over to using sea salt but I'm sure that doesn't count if you're known to pour your salt instead of sprinkling it. Although, I stand by my argument that it only looks like a lot because the flecks are bigger than regular salt! It's true.

As far as candy goes... I'm the guest that the kiddie birthday party host hides the goodie bags from. As soon as their handed out to my kids they scatter as fast as they can into the darkest corner they could find to hide their stash. They resemble the little white marbles when you're playing that Hungry, Hungry Hippo game (and I'm the hungry hippo)... the kids bouncing and running around the room from one hiding spot to another hoping to get me off the scent of their only Butterfinger. The slowest one of the bunch, usually my son, will toss me a tiny box of Nerds hoping to buy more time. A small sacrifice to make if he can keep his cherry Now & Laters... and I usually talk him into giving those up too. (He's my favorite out of the six.) The rest get grounded and what's left of their candy gets confiscated when we get home cause candy rots their teeth. Nom, nom, nom. 

 (Note to self: Halloween is exactly 62 days, 22 hours, 42 minutes & 34 seconds from now.)

Now, as much as I wish to be blissfully unaware of the damage these eating habits can cause... I'm not. These are my weaknesses and I know it. As much as I struggle to do so during certain times, I've been able to cut down on these culprits dramatically... almost completely at one point. I know that for me to have any real success with my weight loss goals, as well as set an example for the kids... I might have to cut the temptations out completely. The good thing is, I've acquired a taste for organic green tea with lemon & honey. I've discovered the wonders of coconut oil and drinking lots of water. I'm more open to new flavors and really feeling the difference in my body when I do stick to the changes in my diet. The healthier I eat, the saltier & less tempting my old favorite snacks seem to be. That's a big freaking deal for me. The longer I stick to it the better I feel and the more motivated I am to make better choices. I learned that I am an emotional eater so I've made huge strides on working on those issues.
But once I fall off the wagon... it's so damn hard for me to climb back on again. If it wasn't for this ONE reason, I'd probably fit more than my calves into my post/pre-baby skinny jeans. I blame it on the Beast. (damn right it's capitalized and bold) You know? The one that lives inside every one of us ladies... waiting... salivating... counting down the days...  

23 days... 24 days... 25...

Try offering me a glass of water and a carrot on day 25...


For the full article, click here...


  1. Freaking Hilarious! LOL I'll throw the carrot into the juicer and add it to the coffee

    1. Lol! That's fine... as long as I don't see it... Or taste it.

  2. OMG! You are hilarious! I love it! And.... I can totally relate...

  3. Thanks Suzanne! The first step to recovery is admitting we have a problem lol

  4. This had me cracking up! Yayy for green tea and coconut oil :)

    1. Lol yay! Oh-em-gee that stuff had my skin GLOWING!