Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Maybe Next Time...

Looking at me today, no one would ever say I've done this before. By 'this', I mean having raised a toddler before. My youngest was a couple weeks away from his ninth birthday when my littlest one was born. In a lot of ways I did sorta feel new to the game again. Like riding a bike, heh?

 Nope. Not really. This kid makes me look like a complete and total rookie.

I was at an appointment today with the little one. I don't know what it is about office spaces that gets these kids going but it happens every time. This building in particular. They do this at the pediatricians office too. Usually in the places where you should most seem to have your shit together. Instead they make you look a dang fool. The receptionist recognizes my face as I walk in and judging by the way she almost seems to be fighting her laughter, I can tell she's ready for a show.
I refuse to. I'm NOT crazy! I'm not here for their entertainment, I say, I'm not!!!
Its muggy and sprinkling outside... The perfect weather to jack up the best of hair days. Except I hadn't had a chance to so much as touch mine this morning. After tearing my house apart searching for the car keys and frantic about the kids being late to their 3rd day of school this morning, momma had no time for pretty today. 
I walk up to the receptionist hand in hand with my pretty girl looking semi normal aside from the poofy hair I kept blowing out of my face and tucking behind my ear.

And OFF she goes!
The little one takes off running like some caged animal who had been set free for the first time in years.At first I run after her trying to look as "normal" as I can... ya know that weird run that looks more like you're clenching your butt cheeks together during a super brisk walk? Yea. That was me looking "normal" today. To make matters worse, we're leaving a trail of Cheerios behind us since she's waving her little Zip Lock bag full of cereal around as she squeals in delight at this fun game of tag we've got going on here. I could see the other moms in the room with their quiet little infants drawing their little bundle closer to them. I recognized this move cause I was once that mom watching the horror of a parent trying to control this little monster that my little angel will NEVER be. Once I figured my attempt at not looking crazy today was a big, fat FAIL... I took off in a full fledged run. For the those who don't know what my run looks like... picture cheeks jiggling, arms flapping, hair flying, boobies bouncing, feet stomping... it's a mess.

I catch her. Enter into the bigger, grayer office space I was lead to. I've got a nice grip on the little one but she soon breaks free to climb onto the chair next to me. That's good. Good girl. Sit still like a good girl. I try to keep her seated... soon I'm trying to keep her from escaping the room while I semi listen to the presentation I was there to see. After about 2.5 seconds, I gave up on trying to listen all together and started offering the other restless toddlers in the room some Goldfish crackers. The other moms accepting the gesture to share the wealth of goodies with relief. Soon as the presentation was over... High tailed it outta there with my little one hanging under my arm fussing and kicking out of control.

As I approach the receptionists desk I notice her eyes lit up with amusement probably expecting some sort of closing line to the spectacle she just witnessed... "Have a great day!" She says as I try to walk past her as quickly as I could hoping she won't notice me...

Thanks! Same to you!

Next time... Next time I'll be totally NORMAL...

Little Ms. Mischief herself <3

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