I'll say it a million times... I'm so lucky to have found this man! Where most women complain that they have to spell things out for their men to get things. I don't. I've always told David that I felt he was always "ten steps ahead of me", and I was happy about that change of pace. There's a positive and a negative to that notion. The positive being that I feel like I've finally met my intellectual equal in the opposite sex. The negative being that I feel like I've met my intellectual equal in the opposite sex. It makes for some interesting arguments. Picture two alpha male rams bashing heads til the death. Except I'm a girl and the boy knows he's gonna have to go to bed with her at some point.
I heard once that marriage is having the same argument over and over again. I think I would agree. In our case, I'm happy to say our arguments are rare and have little to do with issues with one another as much as it has to do with issues (or people) outside of us that are dead set on disturbing our peace.
One of the ways I was able to tell this man could be the potential One for me was the mere fact that I genuinely didn't mind having him in my living space. Which is a pretty big deal for someone who introduced her own children to the idea of the "personal bubble". Don't get me wrong, I love my children to death. I'm the most affectionate, nurturing, treat-em-like-little-people-not-children type of mother there is. But having one daughter who was naturally anxious and clung on to you like a savage ape every time the wind blew a piece of dust in her direction was annoying. Combine that with having a son who's idea of a hug was to cling on to you like a baby koala for half hour a MILLION times a day. A girl sorta starts to crave some space. And having just been me and the kids for a while, I kind of got used to doing it all my way. The right way.
Point is, this man does very little to annoy me. In our days of being a long-distance couple when we shared everything about each others likes and gripes from which way to hang the toilet paper (under) to how we like to fold our socks. I never saw this argument coming. Not only because of the nature of it, but because my preferences were always his preferences as well (or so I like to believe)... so... what was the big deal?
It all started while I was scrubbing the tub one day and getting ready to mop when I remembered...
Hey, babe... Do you pour the dirty mop water down the tub drain when you're done mopping?
Well, I've noticed in the past when you've mopped that when I go to fill the tub for a bath there's a bunch of hair, dust and dirt floating in my water. All the same stuff I see while I'm mopping. I rather you flush it.
I do flush it.
Well, you don't always because I see the crap floating in my bath water.
I do flush the water! I wash the mop in the tub before I mop... BUT after I mop I pour the water down the toilet AND I scrub the tub down.
Well... you didn't because the tub was filthy with stuff floating all over the place. So please don't wash the mop in the tub. And why are you getting so defensive?! I just asked if you do and if you DO... please don't do it!
Well I just said I don't! Don't tell me what I'm doing is wrong if I'm not doing it!
But you JUST said you wash the mop in the tub!!!
But I flush the water I mop with in the toilet!
Well that doesn't matter if you wash the DIRTY mop in the tub first! I sit my butt on the tub floor! And I don't want the dust and hair and dog puke and poo and pee particles that fall off the mop floating in my bathwater!
ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR!?!?
And I'm like...
It's a little embarrassing to admit that this little disagreement went on in front of our kids. But I really believe that these little spats are a good opportunity to set an important example. (Seeing as to which it SHOULDN'T have been that serious although the passion in our voices suggested otherwise.) Watching us they will learn that even couples that love each other very much, argue. More importantly they will learn that after an argument, we know how to make up.
So... two cups of salted edimame and a catnap later... we made up.
Although, I gotta say... his suggestion that all the hair, dust and dirt was falling off of my OWN ass into my bath water was not appreciated... AT. ALL.